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Discussing Racism, Privilege, and the (White) Elephant in the Room Regarding the Ferguson/Eric Garner Discussion—Challenging & Supporting White Students

So, I started three other ideas for blog posts before deciding that I needed to write something about the current state of student affairs work in the post-Ferguson/Eric Garner grand jury decision discussions.

This topic has permeated our work as student affairs professionals because many of our campuses are now serving as beacons for discussion, activism, and demonstrations.

Even many of our student affairs colleagues have written about this topic and how it shapes our work and the ways in which we can support our students of color on campus. And that’s awesome. I think this is a powerful time for our field to step up like this and become leading voices in the conversation on racial injustices in our country.

And yet, there is one facet of this conversation that I want to focus on: Challenging and supporting our white, socially just students that simply want to show their support, but have difficult (i.e. uneducated and/or racist) home lives that challenge them from moving forward in their journey of social justice education.

I am going to share a personal experience, talk about getting to TA this semester through the model of Challenge & Support, and then explain my philosophy of how to support white students during this time.

(Note: This post is IN NO WAY meant to discredit the other very real racial work happening on our campuses and in society today. If you read it with that lens, I challenge you to read this again. At no point is that my intention. This post is merely meant as an extension of the larger conversation. One that I think some of our students need to hear/can relate to.) 

Ferguson is quite the taboo topic right now.
As is an discussion white students as well.
How do we support them?
IMAGE: Michael Ramirez (Investors Business Daily)

PERSONAL CONTEXT

I was adopted into a white, low-SES, uneducated, and slightly racially ignorant home life.

Having just turned 27, my closest sibling is NINE years older than me—with my oldest sibling being 50 years old. I am the only person in my family to attend college, let alone graduate from college and/or even understand the concept of graduate school. Therefore, as the youngest person in my family, I am the only one with any understanding of how the academy works. And, by extension, how privilege works.

This is quite challenging—as you could imagine.

However, it is never more challenging than when the holidays come around. I basically have no support when it comes to virtually any conversation whatsoever. And the scapegoat that my family ALWAYS retreats to is the fact that I’m young(er than them). I mean, I’m 27. I feel I’ve been an adult for a while now.

Now, I assume there are many white students, and white student affairs professionals, that have to go home during the holidays and listened to their “old fashioned” relatives explain why Obama is Hitler, how the liberals are destroying the economy, and how the gays are killing the sanctity of marriage—yes, ALL of these are conversations I have recently had with my relatives.

And it’s hard to listen to your family members say these things, or often worse things. Because when we are in the early stages of development—diffusion, as Marcia might explain it—we don’t question these things. We just accept them.

However, for those of us who develop into free-thinkers—those of us with a little bit of social justice education—we don’t like to keep out mouths shut. So we argue, or we get frustrated and things get tense during the holidays.

It’s always like this for me at home.

And I live over 3,000 miles from home, which makes it even more difficult for me to make the trip. Regardless, each visit goes something like this:

- Relative says something racist/homophobic.

- I get frustrated and challenge them.

- Relative says something equally alarming while trying to explain they aren’t racist/homophobic.

- I get frustrated at their explanation and explain how it is racist/homophobic.

- Relative calls me young and/or pretentious and that my education is a waste of time.

- I realize this conversation is a lost cause and leave to play with my nieces or nephews because they don’t talk about political stuff.

Essentially, going home is hard for me.

And the thing is—I know I am NOT alone in this experience.

Many students experience this!

Many of my colleagues experience this!

My partner and I have been talking about this for weeks!

So what do we do for our white students that still don’t have the tools to question their relatives or even engage in meaningful conversations with their peers?

Image: Steve Breen (U-T San Diego)

CHALLENGE

With seemingly everyone in the nation discussing the Ferguson/Eric Garner grand jury decisions, we, as educators, are in a difficult situation because many of our students are looking to us for answers/guidance.

This semester was my reentry into teaching, as I stepped back into the classroom (I taught High school in a past life) to TA for UMass Amherst’s Education 115 course, Embracing Diversity—which is essentially a Social Justice 101 course, as you can hear some of our students explain in a video I’ve linked at the end of this post. (Note: This classroom context is simply an example of how I practice my approach to educating and supporting white students on these issues. I have many other examples I could use to discuss how I do this with the students I advise as well.)

In being able to TA for this course, I was given the opportunity to educate students on social justice topics like race, class/socioeconomic status, sexual orientation, gender, privilege, white privilege, oppression, Ray Rice and sexual assault, and even the Ferguson/Eric Garner cases.

The catch of all of this was that I was the only white male TA (of five TAs) teaching the whitest and most male-populated discussion section for the course—88 percent of my classroom was white, over 60 percent were men. I had four Asian students (all women) and one Latina student in my class. The other 35 were white.

I had a classroom full of students from all over New England—two from New York, and one lone student from Georgia. All of these students brought vastly different perspectives on many of the topics we discussed.

However, what I ultimately found was not shocking, but it is something we might take for granted since we have social justice conversations almost every day.

I will try my best to be as clear as possible:

MANY OF OUR WHITE STUDENTS

HAVE NEVER HAD TO THINK ABOUT THIS SHIT!

Campuses have always been incredible landscapes for activism.

We cannot assume all of our students are in the same place developmentally OR that they will agree with or absorb everything you teach them. That’s not how learning and/or development works. 

You aren’t going to change a student, who was raised in a racist home, that racism is bad by simply telling them that racism is bad. They’re just going to go home—where racism is practiced—and not think about racism being bad anymore.

These topics MUST be broken down carefully over time.

That being said, I made it my purpose for the semester to teach my 40 students about the realities of the world around them. I constantly told them, “you’re already ahead of me by being in this class,” because I didn’t have my first privilege conversation until I was 23. I wanted my students to understand that white privilege is not something to feel guilty about—it’s out of their control—what they need to do is understand how their privilege functions in society so they can become better allies/advocates for change.

I took this one hour out of the week to do things like ask my students to Google the phrase, “race is a social construct,” and then they would report their findings and we would discuss how this affects them at a predominantly white institution. I would challenge my students to think critically about the world around them instead of simply regurgitating all of the information they’ve been fed throughout their entire lives. It caused for some awkward silences, but we pushed through it as a class.

One of the first activities I did with students was the privilege walk.

(Note: You can click link for an example of how to do the privilege walk.)

If you haven’t done the privilege walk with your students, I suggest you to do so. I make my own list of phrases for them to respond to (e.g., starting with "If you are a man, take a step forward," and later using "If you are a woman, take a step back."), with the caveat that they aren’t allowed to look back until we’re finished. When completed, this activity demonstrates to students that most, if not all, of their privileges are invisible.

Another way to do this is with an exercise called, "Step in, Step Out," in which all students create a circle and step when they can agree with the statement being read. This is often an equally apt way of demonstrating the privilege and inequalities in your group. I chose the privilege walk simply due to the massively white class that I had.

I had my four lone Asian students and the Latina student (reminder: all women) in the back of the class. When I asked one how she felt being there, she responded,

“I just stopped even trying to move forward. Because every time I did, I would have to take another step back. It made me want to give up.” 

This resonated powerfully with the rest of the class, which was all white, and demonstrated to them where they might stand in relation to the rest of the students in their institution, since UMass Amherst is a predominantly white institution. Her reaction is also another reason why some might opt to utilize the "Step in, Step out" activity instead of the privilege walk.

Moving forward with the class was a much easier task because this was the first time many of my white students had ever had to think about their privilege or their other dominant identities.

Making the effort to discuss these issues in a very approachable and intentional manner with my students made a major impact on them this semester. Many of them commented on my individual course evaluations that learning about white privilege and racial oppression were two of the major topics that challenged their thinking this semester.

Reading through my evaluations made me happy because I could tell that some serious change happened over the course of 14 weeks.

But now they are no longer my students—so I worry about where they go from here.

  

SUPPORT

On Thursday, the final day of class, I addressed the upcoming holidays amid a larger conversation about Ferguson and Eric Garner. I told the students that I had a very difficult conversation with my parents about the grand jury decisions, in which I challenged my parents on their stances—which caused my mother to hang up the phone on me.

Some of my students explained that they encountered some difficult conversations with family on their recent Thanksgiving visits home.

I asked them how they handled the conversations. A number of the students said they sat there listening, trying to think about how to respond—using their knowledge from this course. Others said that they challenged their family for the first time and it felt empowering, while also scary because they were met with similar responses that I receive from my family.

On that last day, I told my students to not be silent.

I told my students that it is okay to challenge the views of their friends and family.

On that last day, I also told my students the importance of picking their battles and to recognize there is a time and place for everything. 

On that last day, I told my students to speak out against injustice and prejudiced if they ever encounter it on or off campus.

On that last day, I told my students to always question the world around them.

Be curious. Discover their own knowledge.

On that last day, I explained that since race is a learned social construct, racism is also a learned social construct. Therefore, we have the power to unlearn these constructs.

On that last day, I gave my students an example of a conversation I had with my sister—in regard to some of my father’s remarks one year.

Sister: You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

Me: But you can teach a dog to not be racist.

While they laughed at this example—because I’m hilarious—I made sure to bring it back to a very real feeling that what many of our white students are fed from their families can cause a lot of cognitive dissonance.

On that last day, I told my students that I struggle with these topics with my family all of the time, but that doesn’t mean I give up on my family. I love my family. I just have to separate myself from their reality in order to spend time with them, which comes with time.

On that last day, I acknowledged how some of their families might even be paying for their education, which is an even more difficult experience when picking a social justice battle with their family. Sometimes financial support can be more worth more than an argument. This is reality I had to recognize. I know that many LGBTQ youth are exiled/cut off financially for standing up for their identities, and this circumstance can possibly find a similar end result. Again, pick your battles.

On that last day, I told my students to change the subject or lay down ground rules if they don’t want some things being discussed—or to simply leave the room. I have to do this often while at home. It saves me from some tears or from shouting various obscenities. Or to simply save face.

On that last day, I told my students that they might get conflicting information or confusing articles thrown their way, and that’s natural. There is always going to be doubt with every major issue that happens in our country.

That doesn’t mean we can’t question everything.

I'm not sure what will come of this, but I do know that we cannot do nothing.

CONCLUSION

I hope this post demonstrated some ways in which you can support white, socially just students that just want to be allies/advocates on their campuses. Keep in mind that many of these students might come from homes that either aren’t very socially just, or just aren’t open to discussing these bigger topics.

Also remember that my classroom context might be somewhat of an anomaly, but with as much student leadership training that happens on a college campus, I can assure you that there is somewhere to fit in my suggestions.

Naturally there are going to be many white students that will come to you looking for some sort of guidance when they possibly fear going home (like I often do) or simply supporting their fellow students of color on their campus. I suggest giving them space to talk just as you would any student. There is bound to be a lot of confusion, frustration, and probably anger toward their home situation. Be there for all of your students, regardless of race.

I don't want the work we do educating white students to be for nothing. And you shouldn't either. We need to support our white advocates so that they can educate their families and possibly inspire new tricks in some old dogs.

If we are able to affect and educate today’s white college students that come from historically racist backgrounds, we can potentially alter the course of history. If we can educate on the realities of prejudice, oppression, and injustice in this country as early as possible, who knows what sort of impact we can have as student affairs professionals?

In order to support these students, we need to consider our entire student populations when moving forward in how to approach these large racial issues.

I recognize that my approach/philosophy will not resonate or even work for all students and/or professionals. I don’t expect it to do so. However, I do expect that we can support all of our students as valued members of society and recognize that they all come from varying backgrounds that may require us to read and flex according to the needs of each individual.

Thank you for reading.

I hope this helped in some way.

-Craig.

  

BONUS!

Here is the video that three of my classmates and I put together with the support of our EDUC115 students in response to their learning throughout this year. Check it out!

A Charm City Summer

Looking back at my time as a NACA Summer Intern

Now that my NACA summer internship at Towson University has been over for a month, I decided I should compile some final thoughts on the experience.

Granted, I have shared a lot over the course of the summer through my Twitter account and my video blog, which you can view here! Yet, there was much more to my experience than what was shared on social media.

Note: You can easily watch this handy dandy video—my last of the summer—that showcases some of my final thoughts and images from my summer experience.

Baltimore: The Charm City

When I got into Baltimore, I met up with my fellow intern colleague, Kristen Vega (@KristenVega4), who is from the University of Miami (Ohio), and she is a fireball! So much energy. I love it. So we got along from the get-go. And certainly made the most of our summer.

Here we are showing some love to the steps
of the Supreme Court in DC.

Being able to spend the summer alongside someone as passionate about student affairs as her was quite invigorating. We both came from the west coast originally, so life in Baltimore definitely took some adjustments.

However, that didn’t stop us from exploring the city together and on our own throughout our stay.

By a stroke of luck and genius on behalf of our supervisor, we were housed on the University of Baltimore-Maryland campus, which placed us in the middle of the city! It was a wonderful location for getting the Baltimore city experience.

I ate this huge apple turnover. All of it.

Yet, Baltimore is very charming—hence, its nickname, the Charm City. There are some absolutely beautiful villages and neighborhoods. AND THE FOOD! I loved running though the town, exploring and adventuring through a nearly endless tour of American culture.

Okay—enough about Baltimore.

Onto some of the lasting experiences from the internship itself

Towson University

Through all the chaos of arriving to a new institution, I came to recognize very early on that Towson University is a really neat institution. There are a lot of young professionals with very eager goals for their organizations. Every administrator and staff member has been incredibly warm and eager for fresh blood to be in the mix. And the initiatives on campus are very enlivening and innovative.

John Cena and I had a lot of fun exploring the Towson
campus this summer! Here is Stephens Hall.

 Towson isn’t a massive institution—around 22,000 students—yet, it is growing rapidly. It is just outside of Baltimore, so it is still somewhat of a commuter campus. Yet, within in seven years, enrollment has increased by 6,000 students. The campus is booming and there are many plans to build multiple new residence halls on campus very soon. So, you know…JOBS!

Towson is one of the fastest growing mid-size public institutions on the east coast, which allowed me to learn and work in a different institution that is quickly becoming a powerhouse in the Mid-Atlantic. It was refreshing to meet so many administrators who are dedicated to progressing high education, instead of reinventing the wheel. I felt like everyone I worked with actually gave a shit about their work and the students that worked in our offices.

Towson Flag and Maryland Flag!

I was granted an opportunity in Student Activities at Towson, which was a nice return to my event planning roots during my undergrad experience at Oregon State University. This return to form showed me that maybe going the student activities route is possible for me!

I never really considered going the route of Student Activities, but after learning a lot about social wellness and how the role of activities can benefit a campus community in many ways, I was hooked.

It was great to work with the Summers at Towson initiative.
Cannot wait to see how far it grows next year!

However, I’m still not sold that it is the route I will take—I’m still quite smitten with going the university relations route—yet, gaining the experience and the transferrable skills will surely help me in the long run.

Especially for job searching. Hooray. JOB SEARCHING!

Alas, I had a A LOT of fun doing student activities—as expressed through my video blog. We did a lot of different activities this summer and I’m so glad I was able to facilitate a fun summer for the Towson students this summer.

Took many students to see the Orioles play baseball!

NOTE: If you haven’t followed along with my Twitter or Instagram action, we put on so many events this summer! I have included many pictures throughout this blog, and here are the posters for both months that was had events this summer!

Supervisor!

My supervisor was a badass named, Dirron Allen. He has been at Towson for nine years and has climbed his way up being the Director of Student Activities. Dirron is very straightforward—yet, chill. Dirron was equal parts motivational and challenging.

And I definitely feel that he shaped me a lot this summer.

He was honest, up front, and genuine.

He, and the rest of his staff, made sure I never felt alone in this job.

I was supported the entire way.

I recognize this isn’t a common experience for most folks in summer internships, so for that, I am grateful to have had such a positive experience.

So thankful to have had the support of such a brilliant
role model of supervision this summer.

Dirron was more than willing to answer my blunt questions about the landscape of race and gender in higher education. He was also very open throughout my time at Towson when discussing the realities of navigating higher education politics. I am thankful that I had such an open and honest supervisor to learn from this summer.

Dirron, practices the Building Blocks of Social Wellness in his supervision style—or, “The Nine” as he calls them. These nine facets comprise his personal version of Odidson’s Interpersonal Wellness System Model, where fun is simply the byproduct of student activities work. Dirron feels the worth of student activities is proven to Towson University through dedication to social wellness—so these nine fundamentals serve as the building blocks for his department to create a solid foundation as leaders and agents of change.

Final thoughts

Do a summer internship.

Especially if you are serious about entering the realm of student affairs and/or higher education.

I honestly went through NACA because it was the least invasive of the three internship programs (others: NODA & ACUHO-I). I also knew I didn’t want to do orientation work or housing over the summer, so being able to do student activities for the summer certainly shaped my experience quite a bit!

Baltimore on the Fourth of July was magical.

This summer—my first summer away from home—was highly valuable in a number of ways. Having a mental break from school was nice because year one of graduate school was certainly a mind-blowing in a number of ways. It was also quite freeing to be on my own with my recently acquired knowledge.

Living in Baltimore was definitely a social experiment for me. I’m not a big fan of cities; however, Baltimore was a great warm up to city life for me. Being in a completely different social environment opened my eyes to many alarming issues that are still incredibly rampant throughout our country—namely poverty, racism, and ridiculous elitism.

Finally, working at an institution like Towson was very refreshing because it had an ACTUAL diverse population of students. This was a nice change of pace for me since I’ve only worked at/attended predominantly white institutions (PWI). My perspective was changed in hearing many stories from student populations I would’ve never had access to if I hadn’t have this internship.

John Cena didn't want to leave.

Back to Mass!

All in all, leaving Massachusetts for the summer and being somewhere other than Oregon for the summer made this one of the most challenging and exhilarating summers of my life.

And now I am eager to return to work and class at UMass with a fresh set of eyes. I am ready to approach this year with revitalized excitement for the challenges in my way as I attempt to create some new research, as well as perform in an unconventional assistantship.

I get to pilot a series of mental/physical/sexual health marketing campaigns for the Center for Health Promotion this year. That should be fun! I also get to help in the development of the UMass Social Media policy committee as well as Social Media Wellness Week—so, needless to say, I am stoked to create some new things this year!

Hope you enjoyed this! And I hope it helps paint a picture of the experience of one #SAGrad during a summer internship!

Best of luck with the upcoming year!

LET’S DO THIS!

-Craig.

[GUEST POST] Three Simple Steps for Men to Engage Resistant Men in Feminist Dialogue

Greetings!

I know, I know... I wrote another guest post.

I haven't published a piece for my personal blog in a few weeks, but it's been nice contributing to a few other blogs lately! I love sharing my voice and hope it allows for others to come forward with theirs as well.

I was asked by the #SAFeminist folks at the Student Affairs Feminist blog to write a post from the male perspective, so I did!

I decided to discuss how men can discuss feminism with resistant men. I've already received a lot of great feedback from this post and I am so glad it is helping further this very important dialogue.

Click the photo to access the FULL article!

Here are a few previews for you!

"Feminism is an interesting topic in the masculinities realm because I have found that some men are quite resistant to identify as a feminist.
Feminism—simply put—is advocating for gender equity. For all.
And men—simply put—are not good at sharing. At all."

"Men will always have privilege. Men do not need to apologize or feel guilty for their privilege—however, what we do with this privilege is what determines the future of our culture. So, in order to complete this step, make that point clear to men." 

"[in] order for true gender equity to occur, men need to learn to just step aside and be comfortable with women—and anyone who doesn’t identify as cis-male—being bad asses."

"Gender equity isn’t about losing your man card. It’s about recognizing that we all should be considered equal in this country, regardless of gender."

I will be back later in the week with PART ONE of a TWO-PART blog post collaboration with my #SABestie, Katy Hamm, on the healing power of music.

Be prepared!
Be well.

-Craig.

No Co-Sign Necessary

Do & Enjoy What You Love—Because You Can

The cool thing about being a person is you can choose how you spend your free time.

That might be one of the simplest statements I will ever write; and yet, it’s so incredibly true. I can even follow it up with another bit of simplicity—a question:

For those in the higher ed/SA realm—how do we maintain the aspects of our lives that we are passionate about outside of higher education and student affairs?

For those outside of the SA-realm—1. Welcome to the conversation; 2. How do you manage your interests and passions outside of your industry?

For some people maintaining health and fitness is an essential passion to maintain; for others: sports, reading, writing, knitting, Snap Chat, painting, performing and/or listening music, concertgoing, hiking, cooking, tattoos, computers, tech—the list goes on. Some of these are somewhat easily integrated into our lives; however, some may be more difficult than others.

So how do we maintain the balance of doing what we love in our careers and doing what we love in our extracurricular interests?

How do we integrate balance in the first place?

I often hear people say, "I love reading, but I just don't have time anymore."

Or, "I wish I had time to paint more."

Hearing things like this makes me sad.

How do we avoid sacrificing our passions when life gets busy?

My suggestion: Make your passions a priority.

Cody Rhodes (right) delivering his finishing move, Cross Rhodes.
He is one of my favorite young talents.

My most implicit example of this is with my love for professional wrestling.

Yes, professional wrestling.

For me, Monday nights have three hours carved out so that I can watch Monday Night Raw. And during the rest of the week, I most certainly squeeze in any opportunity to view a match or two on the WWE Network or across any of the independent circuits that I can scout out on Youtube. I am eager to learn new stories and in-ring techniques being experimented with throughout the professional wrestling industry—so I try to keep on all levels of competition outside of simply WWE.

People often bash/laugh at my appreciation for professional wrestling. And I get that. Pro wrestling (or, rasslin) isn't for some people. It isn’t for most people. But to laugh and use the defense of, "but how can you watch that stuff? ...it isn't real ...it's scripted," makes no sense to me because everything is scripted.

Archer is scripted.

Scandal is scripted.

Mad Men is scripted.

Bob's Burgers is scripted.

Duck Dynasty is scripted.

Captain America is scripted.

Game of Thrones is scripted.

Books and music are technically scripted/written.

Just because something is scripted doesn't mean it doesn't hold value.

Enjoy what you will. Enjoy what you love.

Also, scoffing at something that someone gets enjoyment from is outright disrespectful. Now, I am guilty of laughing at some interests when I am caught off guard—much like most people are when they hear about my passion for rasslin. However, I am always curious to learn why someone appreciates a certain hobby/interest. The quirkiest hobbies always have the best stories/reasons.

John Cena (left) and Bray Wyatt (right) put on one of the most
psychological matches in recent memory. 

Last week I spent three days (WWE Hall of Fame, Wrestlemania, and Monday's epic RAW) being reminded of how much I respect the industry of professional wrestling. And I felt the need to reflect on my passion for this industry. Because when rasslin is good, it fills me with legitimate joy. And there is truly no better feeling than when you see dudes who have dedicated their lives to this industry and hear their stories and see their hard work pay off.

I've loved professional wrestling since I was a child and I continue to love it to this day (minus a few in-between years). I may watch rasslin from a much different lens, especially since entering graduate school. But I still look forward to it every week and just because I may not agree with the script all of the time, I still appreciate the art.

And when I don't agree, I make podcast episodes with my friends to complain and discuss pro wrestling! I love recording these podcast episodes because I get to prioritize and schedule 1-2 hours out of my week to just talk about rasslin. To just talk about something I love outside of higher education. It is truly a lot of fun for Ian, Rene, and Me (other dudes in the Against the Ropes podcast—Warning: Not all language is SFW.).

I actually hope to pursue a PhD in sociology or American studies focusing on the performative aspects of masculinity in professional wrestling and its effects on children. I genuinely think about rasslin a lot and want to enter into dialogue with this topic at a level of scholarship that hasn’t been touched yet.

Many people hold an image of rasslin from years ago when it was a much different product than it is today. Things have changed. The independent scene is stronger than ever and the big companies have taken note. This is why I appreciate professional wrestling. It is always evolving.

[NOTE: I originally wrote the previous text on pro wrestling, with some new edits, as a Facebook post fresh off my high from the incredible spectacle that was Wrestlemania 30.

And then Ultimate Warrior died. So I wrote the following…]

Ultimate Warrior was a staple of the WWF in the late 80s/early 90s.

My heart literally stopped when I read that Ultimate Warrior (given name: James Hellwig) died last Tuesday. This was literally the day after giving a highly motivational and coherent speech on Monday Night Raw—fresh off his induction into the WWE Hall of Fame that Saturday, and appearing at Wrestlemania on Sunday. I waited to write anything about his death until I knew exactly the full extent of the circumstances.

Heart attack brought on by stress. Makes sense.

Warrior lived fast and he lived hard. And since leaving rasslin, he has certainly left the limelight and withdrew from the public eye. Which, when he begins being moved around a lot over the span of a few days during Wrestlemania weekend—and possibly the hazardous cocktail of 90s cocaine/steroids may have caught up to him—his body might not have been able to handle the stress.

This early death is tragic and all-too-common in the industry of professional wrestling—Curt Hennig, The Von Erichs, Bruiser Brody, Gorgeous George, Eddie Guerrero, Owen Hart, Test, Big Bossman, Randy Savage, Chris Benoit—again, the list goes on.

I’ve been reading David Shoemaker’s book, The Squared Circle: Life and Death of Professional Wrestling, which chronicles the lives and history of many professional wrestlers who have legitimately given their lives to this industry. The book reads as one long cautionary tale for today’s rasslers to take note of the lives that have been led and lost throughout the history of this industry.

Many rasslers take extensive breaks (sabbaticals) to rest up and heal so that they don’t go down this route. The industry has changed drastically, as I alluded to earlier. Steroid usage has visibly lessened as rasslers have gotten smaller and leaner in comparison to the bodybuilding behemoths on the 80s and 90s. Wellness policies and health insurance are staples of the industry now.

When you are so engrained with characters in a book or in a TV show or in a movie and they die or are killed off, you feel like you’ve lost a bit of yourself. When Ultimate Warrior died, the world of professional wrestling lost a superhero. We lost a character that was larger than life. We lost not only one of the most iconic members of our community, but we also lost a man who inspired many young men to break into this industry. Warrior set the bar as a physical specimen and as a dominant force on the microphone.

I mean—watch this video:

Ultimately, I want to bring this back to my earlier context of being true to yourself and to what you enjoy doing with your free time. Rasslin was merely one example I could've used for this article. I also appreciate music, television, reading, writing, running, etc. The point of this post is the demonstrate that we only get so much time away from work and from the realities of life—so we might as well spend those spare moment enjoying things we are passionate about.

Don't lose an aspect of your identity just because you get a little busy from time to time.

Also, don’t worry about what people think about your hobbies.
Everyone is different.

Different strokes for different folks. Everyone has their quirks.

There are many reasons you enjoy what you love in your life—some may have different origins than others and may look differently in comparison with other people in our field, and that’s fine. Life is about filling your life with things that make you happy. Sure, work and making a living is important, too, but that doesn’t mean we must sacrifice our interests

Do and enjoy what you love not because the media or your friends tell you that you should love it. Do and enjoy what you love because you genuinely cannot consider anything else you'd rather spend your time/life enjoying. It really is that simply. No co-sign necessary.

Stay true to yourself—be proud of your interests.

Don’t hide them. Don’t be ashamed of your quirkiness.

Be quirky. Be a hobbyist.

Hope some of this resonates!

Be well.

-Craig.

Join the dialogue: @CrigBididman

Keep Snapping

Authentically Surviving a National Professional Conference

Beware. This is a massive post with a lot of feels.

*          *          *

My goal in attending the over 5,000-attendee national Student Affairs Administrators in Higher Educaiton (NASPA) conference in Baltimore, Maryland was to attend as an authentic student leader. My goal was not to get a job—like many of those attending for the Placement Exchange. My goal was not to gain a million Twitter followers. My goal was not to be anything I wasn’t. My goal was not to hide.

I wanted to be myself—that phrase we always tell our students to embrace.

And myself can be a bit much sometimes, and I recognize that.

Those who met me at NASPA quickly learned this.

So, I packed my bag—some flannel, some T-shirts, a vest, a cardigan, two dress shirts, a bow-tie, slacks, jeans and two pairs of shoes—I also packed food and some work out gear, but hardly had time for either.

And honestly, the dress shirts and bow-tie never saw the conference because I wasn’t feeling it. I brought them in case I felt the urge to have some fun with dress up time; yet, the time never came. I wanted to be comfortable throughout the conference experience and dressing up to fit in with the rest of the frame felt too forced to me. So I didn’t do it—

[Note: I’ll get to my reasoning later in a conclusion I originally wrote to be the intro to this piece, but felt it landed better as an ending. You can totally skip to it right now by going to the next section starting with a bold italic note and I wouldn’t even be offended or surprised. Sort of like a choose your own adventure! I write too much sometimes—this post being one of those times.]

Opening night of NASPA with Bethany and Jack!
(Picture stolen from Jack)

After the six-hour drive to Baltimore with my two cohort colleagues, Nadia and Ashrita, we found our hotel, unloaded our things—I took a quick nap—and then we made our way to the conference. Upon arrival, I sought out some Twitter folks, Bethany Tuller (@BethanyTuller) and Jack Korpob (@JackKorpob), because I knew they were there and I knew this conference was going to happen because of Twitter. It was great to finally meet them and discuss our lives as fellow #SAGrad.

This was the first national conference I’ve attended since what I’ve considered the mass influx of Twitter in Student Affairs over the past two years. So, to me, NASPA meant putting a lot of Twitter handles to faces! And that’s exactly what happened. I ran into so many incredible people that I’ve interacted with throughout the last two years or so and finally got to meet them face to face. It was truly inspiring to see how well Social Media functioned in making introductions easier for us at NASPA.

Josie and I posing with the #SAChat pillow!

We had #SAChat tweet ups, which were great to meet so many more folks that I’ve known virtually and could now know personally—mystical creatures like Lisa Endersby (@LMEndersby), Joe Sabado (@JoeSabado), James Frier (@JSFrier), Joe Ginese (@JoeGinese), Mairead KIernan (@Parade_withan_M), Amma Marfo (@AmmaMarfo), Matthew McGrath (@MMcGrath528) and the wonderful, Josie Ahlquist (@JosieAhlquist). Josie and I even got to offer folks the opportunity to take pictures with the #SAChat pillow! It was a wonderful opportunity to finally have human interactions with people who actually do exist and truly hold great insights and feelings toward this field. And the coolest part of the Twitter aspect of #NASPA14 is that we trended!! It was obvious once we started getting hackers…

Combatting those Twitter hackers/spammers by blocking and reporting spam became part of my role as I supported the Innovation Lab at NASPA for both Monday and Tuesday. The Innovation Lab was a great opportunity to teach and learn about how technology and social media play a massive role in our work at higher education and student affairs professionals. I helped people learn more about many aspects of social media and even signed a few folks up for their own very first Twitter accounts—including the chair of the NASPA conference, Frank Lamas (@LamasVPSA)!

Helping out at the Innovation Lab!

This opportunity allowed me to socialize and discuss with many student affairs folks and fellow #SAGrads about how we can integrate a more functioning and informed community through the advancements in technology and social media.

I was also able to represent the new NASPA Knowledge Community on Socioeconomic and Class Issues in Higher Education, which merely days old when NASPA began. So this was our first opportunity to reach out to institutions to share the vision we all have for bringing this KC into collaboration with all other KCs in hopes of truly demonstrating how many of the issues our students face are transferable through these issues of SES and class.

My attire on Day 02 of NASPA, when the tattoo article published.

Something unique about my stay at NASPA was that I contributed an article to the ACPA Men and Masculinities blog that published on the Monday of NASPA. The article focuses on tattoos in higher education. A day after the article published and was circulating around the interwebs, people were coming up to me at the conference to talk to me about the article and to talk about my tattoos—which were unhidden throughout the most of the conference. This was a great form of validation for my writing and for my pursuit to live and function as an authentic leader.

This was such a bizarre feeling because I came to NASPA with specific people that I wanted to make sure I either met for the first time, or got to connect with from my past. Getting to connect with my former mentors from Oregon State University, Mamta Accapadi (@MamtaAccapadi) and Larry Roper (@LarryRoper), was incredible—while both were in passing, they each imparted quick bits of knowledge upon me that made everything worth it.

Getting to meet up with Larry Roper (L) and
Chris Van Drimmelen (R) was much needed.

I also got to reconnect many times with my good friend, Chris Van Drimmelen (@CVanDrimmelen), who is finishing up his #SAGrad right now at Seattle University. He and I spent much time together during our undergrad at Oregon State and it was great to share ideas about higher education and reflect on how our lives have changed since running student government during our undergrad. We’re getting old.

Meeting up with the multi-talented jet-setting blogosphere champion, Eric Stoller (@EricStoller), was also quite the treat. Hearing him reflect on his perspectives of technology in higher education as well as how we must challenge the frame to make any true change in this field really resonated with me. He also spent much time at Oregon State, so it was great to discuss life in the Pacific Northwest with someone as perceptive as he—someone so perceptive that he pointed out the exclamation point at the end of my name on my nametag in the middle of his presentation session.

This exclamation point came up again during my opportunity to meet my future employers for the summer as I head back to the Baltimore area to work at Towson University. I met my future supervisors from Towson, one of which commented on my exclamation point—to which I said, “Well, I’m like a human exclamation point!” To which she responded, “That’s great—because you’ll be working with many human exclamation points!” It made me feel very comforted that I will have a welcoming community of professionals to work with for a few months.

Of course there were sessions that I attended! I learned a lot about how to challenge and approach best practices when supporting/creating an organization. I learned a lot about how to support college men through meaningful dialogue during a very lively discussion. I learned about how to support a campus that suffers from repeated sexual assault.

I attended Wes Moore’s opening keynote that started the conference off with a bang with his plea for us to engage our students in more than just their educational experience during college and to support them in extracurriculars. This sentiment also resonated with professional staff as Moore pontificated that, “when it’s time to leave here…make sure that it mattered that you were ever even here.”

Moore’s keynote was a breath of fresh air. And then I reached the closing ceremony and encountered Jon Lovett’s closing keynote speech. Lovett, President Obama’s formerspeech writer, is a hilarious man with a lot of knowledge. He spoke from a podium in a hoodie—I, too, was wearing a hoodie that day. In solidarity, of course. Lovett is a young man with a vision of authenticity that resonated with me unlike anything I’d ever heard. Among other brilliant words he spoke, Lovett called for a “renaissance of integrity” in which those of us in leadership/administrative roles can influence the pivotal college years of young people and inspire them to do great things by simply staying true to ourselves as role models.

Jon Lovett: Pretty chill role model if you ask me.

And I was tweeting and snapping my fingers along with Lovett every step of the way. For those unaware, snapping is generally done when agreeing with what someone is saying, to encourage them and hopefully motivate them to continue exploring the roll they're on. My fingers couldn't snap fast enough for Lovett's speech. It was a blast to be fueled with such invigoration for change in this field. I had to share my support on the Twittersphere. It felt great to feel validated yet again by this keynote that was supporting every claim I’ve made throughout my time in student leadership and into being a higher education paraprofessional.

And then Lovett said he had time for one question.

So I walked to the mic.

I thanked him for saying what we all needed to hear and said that I had only one question to ask.

It was a simple question—can I shake your hand?

And he said of course, and shook my hand in front of everyone.

I wanted to shake his hand because he was preaching exactly the words I wanted to preach. He was expressing every frustration I’ve ever felt and everyone in the room was listening to it. I wanted to shake his hand because for the lesson of authenticity he shared, I felt I had been living it throughout this conference. I wanted to shake his hand because it was incredible to see someone so well-respected—someone who essentially helped our president get elected—get such a great response to what I was living out.

During this massive Twitter explosion spurred by my tenacity for everything Jon Lovett had to say, the NASPA folks contacted me on Twitter and informed the public that I was to be acknowledge for my Twitter participation through the conference. When I strolled into their office, I was greeted with loud snaps and excited cheers and they informed me that I had won a Best Tweeter award for consistently engaging people throughout the conference on Twitter—especially for my contributions to the conversation around Lovett’s closing speech. They even put me in the closing blog post for the event!

I told the staff this felt like one of the oddest forms of validation in our field, but I’ll take it! Given the work I put in with the Innovation Lab and through engaging folks online, I felt it was a great token of support in moving forward with this career. Especially since I felt I was validated while functioning as my 100% authentic self. As I left, the group told me to "Keep Snapping," something that will always stick with me.

It meant everything to me.

Me on the final day posing with the NASPA
staff after winning Best Tweeter

[Note: This is where you could have/should have/would have jumped forward if you wanted to avoid all that self-indulgent talk of my NASPA explorations.]

Much of my decision to avoid professional attire was two-fold. Firstly, the decision came on the heels of having to finish a paper while attending the conference, so I had that lingering over me; so, for as much as I wanted to feel like a paraprofessional at this conference—I was certainly attending as a student.

Secondly, my word of the year for 2014 is Risk.

So I wanted to take a risk and take this tiny decision—seemingly simple to me—something vastly beyond what anyone else did for this conference, and try it out. It was wonderfully embraced by those I came into contact with. People were open to discuss the true functionality of how supporting authenticity can operate even within student affairs professionals and budding professionals like myself.

Because if student affairs professionals are to support authenticity in our students, we are hypocrites if we don’t live it out ourselves.

Dressing up during that conference, to me, would have felt like I was lying to myself. I am not a professional. Yet. Even when I become one, that doesn't mean I am going to give in to the suits every day! I am still very much a student functioning in a role that serves other students. Sure, I am graduate student, but I don't see how that slight disconnect changes anything for me. I want to be approachable for my students and I want them to be comfortable with me. Some attire choices may send the message that I am above them and I do not want that. And is that the message we should send our students?—some of which who literally cannot afford "interview clothes"/"business clothes." Therefore, I cannot present myself as someone above what I truly am—a student. With this, I chose the shirts, the jeans, the flannel—I chose comfort over conformity.

And this isn’t bashing professional attire whatsoever—if you are comfortable wearing suits and ties all day, by all means. Do it. Do you. I honestly feel I “clean up well” when I feel comfortable enough to rock some slacks and a bow-tie one day and flannel with a beanie the next day. I can do it. I just don’t choose to do so every day. And shouldn't feel forced to do so, either.

I think I clean up well. Check out the bowtie!

So please don’t expect conformity from those who would not operate authentically, for example, in a suit. The judgment of whether someone cares/respects about a specific job or conference or interaction based on how they dress does not make sense to me—and is also a function of class oppression. I paid my own money to attend this conference. I purposely drove six hours to this conference. I obviously care. I have dedicated myself to this field. I wouldn’t attend if I didn’t care. I wouldn’t keep myself up at night obsessing over how to support my students better if I didn’t respect this field. But I don’t need to do all of that while wearing a tie or a freshly pressed shirt.

Mandating or simply expecting "appropriate"/business attire isn’t a sign of ultimate respect. "Appropriate"/business attire is the sign of conformity that functions as the byproduct of privilege and oppression—the control of the ruling class to keep the oppressed class in check by expecting them to dress a certain way to function and be successful in society.

Believe me, I recognize this discussion enters a realm of white male privilege that functions MUCH differently for me than it does across race, class, and gender lines—because this is an essential facet to acknowledge. But that’s for a future post I plan to write using some of this material and actual scholarly work to support my outlandish/anarchist views.

Consider this a call to arms in which I truly feel there truly needs to be an insurgence in the way we consider professional attire/business attire/business casual. This rethinking will benefit of our students and their authenticity, it will benefit of ourselves and our own authenticity, and it will benefit our field—which already stands as a community filled with the most unique and inspiring people in the world.

I drove six-and-a-half hours south to Baltimore to hang out with a bunch of student affairs professionals and all I got was validation, incredible learning experiences, and an awesome hoodie. So, you know, all in all, it was a great trip.

-Craig.